Wake me up
by astralgirl
Summary: Ed starts having nightmares, and soon can't tell the difference between his dreams, and reality... Slight Ed/Roy/Parental
1. Eyes like open doors

_**Whew~ so, here's my first ever fanfic ^.^ Hope you enjoy~**_

_**Just a warning; I've got this as a Mature just to be safe because later on I will most likely be putting some more visual things into it, but for now it's going to be pretty calm except for the odd few swear words. **_

_**P.s. I've done a completely English version, as I find it weird to have one-off phrases such as 'nii-san' in an English text ^.^**_

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**Chapter 1**

**Eyes like open doors**

_The pain screamed out at him, but he had no time for it. There were more pushing matters at hand; like his brother's life._

_Al!_

_He was certain he had shouted them name out, but the roar of the energy rushing around him drained out all other sounds. The only proof that his voice still existed was due to the fact he could feel his throat going raw from the strain put on his larynx. But he didn't care. He'd already lost a leg, and now his brother._

'_Edward'_

_The voice cut through the disarray like the silence after a storm. He knew that voice, had waited years for it. The pain no longer even held a part in the back of his mind, as if the voice alone had washed it away._

'_Edward…'_

_Mother…_

_Gentle hands placed themselves under the arms of the young boy, lifting him up into a warm embrace that he had longed for so long. The smell… Oh god her smell…_

… _Which was slowly replaced by that of decay and blood. His panicked eyes looked up to where his beautiful mother's face should have been, but instead there was the sight of a moving corpse, still half alive in what looked like a pile of ground meat and bones. He felt the bile rise in his already burning throat as he returned to reality, to the site of what should have been a happy scene._

_Mother…_

xo0oOoOo0ox

Why was he here?

Edward looked around the room, only to be greeted by an equally exhausted pair of eyes.

_Colonel bastard…_

The dark haired man narrowed his eyes as though he needed no invitation as to what the teenager was thinking.

"Fullmetal. I appreciate you taking time from your… busy schedule to grace me with your presence." From the tone of his voice, he wanted to be there just as much as his subordinate did.

Ed knew the older man was trying to push him around. He knew now what the bastard wanted, and he wasn't going to give it.

"Don't get used to it – I do have a lot to do after all…" a cocky smirk spread over the boy's lips. They both knew he was far from busy – quite the opposite in fact – since coming to a dead end on his latest lead.

A silence followed, one Ed wasn't used to. He looked to the floor in an attempt to avoid the Colonel's cold stare, suddenly angry and annoyed. Clenching his hands into fists, he silently ground his teeth. This was the colonel bastard's plan, wasn't it? To make him stand there and squirm until he said it? Well, that wasn't going to happen.

Ed slowly smirked, returning his gaze on the older man enough to make him shift in his office chair nervously. Sure, hand him a murderer or lock him in a room with a serial killer and he wouldn't even have subconscious thoughts of worry. But when Ed pulled an expression like that he could feel the dread grow in the pit of his stomach. Every time the boy's smile quirked up into that smirk, something always ensued that put Roy into trouble or doubled the amount of paperwork he had to sift through.

"What is it, Fullmetal? Have you finally come to your senses?" His voice betrayed none of his deeper worries as he formed a steeple with his hands around his mouth, resting both elbows on the desk that separated both him and Edward.

Ed crossed his arms, looking away while trying to give off a nonchalant air.

Roy didn't buy it one bit.

"I was just wondering if Hawkeye knew about how much paperwork you've _actually_ done…"

The kid was too perceptive for his own damn good.

Roy's own gaze didn't falter from Ed's, not even to glance at the growing pile of unread papers lying at his feet as he weighed out each option. He finally sighed and leant back in his chair as he reached a decision, one Ed seemed glad about as his grin grew.

"Fine. Hand in your report about the Baschool incident by tomorrow and we'll call it a deal."

_Or not…_

Ed's grin dropped instantly. He had not expected the Colonel to take him lightly, but a whole report in less than half a day? Was that even possible considering all of the feats committed during the mission that he would have to write about?

"Fine." Ed sighed irritably and made for the door. He'd had enough. He just wanted to get to his room and…

"Fullmetal?" He stopped on the spot, teeth clenched once more.

"Yes Colonel Bastard?"

"Get some rest. You look like you haven't slept for days." Roy said in his matter-of-fact tone.

"I could say the same for you." And with that he took the necessary steps to reach the door before slamming it behind him. Well, at least he'd gotten away without having to apologise…

xo0oOoOo0ox

"Brother"

"…"

"Brother~"

"Hm?"

"You should do what the Colonel said…"

Ed looked up from an alchemic book, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"I've already done the report Al…"

"You know that's not what I mean." Al replied quickly but softly, cutting Ed off from saying anything further. His face dropped slightly as he realised just how perceptive his younger brother was. In an attempt to hide the dark rings under his eyes, he had purposefully picked up a book and buried his face in it, pretending to study but all the while not actually bothering to look at the alchemic symbols and notes written all over the pages. Little did he know that it had been the exact book Al had seen him complete only yesterday.

"Sorry Al. I guess I could try to get some sleep…" He sounded reluctant at the thought, causing Al to worry. Why was his brother been so stubborn? He'd never purposefully tried to avoid sleeping…

"You don't have to worry about me; I can get more work done this way…"

Ed's eyes looked over the armour as if trying to find any lies in his brother's words. "I guess you're right…" he finally muttered, making his way sluggishly towards the single bedroom before closing the door quietly behind him. Leaning against the back of the door, Ed sighed, running a shaky hand through the bangs that framed his face. How could he think so selfishly? Here he was, scared of going to sleep because of one stupid nightmare, when Al didn't even have that option. He was such an asshole.

xo0oOoOo0ox

_Ed knew he should be in pain right now. His leg was nothing but a mere stub of what it had been, and it bled out furiously in protest of it's missing half. His opposite shoulder also refused to hold in his life's fluid, but he paid no heed. He felt no pain and so was content in just sitting there in the darkness of void. _

_Edward…_

_Ed's head slowly rose as though heavy. Damn it… Why couldn't they just let him sleep…?_

Brother_…_

_Al's usually calm voice was laced with worry._

_Wake up Edward…_

'_I am awake… You're keeping me awake…' He so desperately wanted to say, but it was hard to speak around his swollen tongue. His eyes widened in panic as he tried breathing. Now he certainly was awake, clutching at his neck with his only hand as he tried opening his airways by pure force. _

_His own body didn't want him. His sinned flesh was trying to disown him in the only way possible - death. _

_Collapsing to the floor as he asphyxiated helplessly, he reached out his arm into the darkness. No one was here but him… No one was here to save him. _

_He was truly alone._

'_Edward…'_

_Why did he recognise that voice?_

'_Edward, get up…'_

_There was an unusual strain of worry in the voice, one he wasn't used to hearing from it. He rolled his eyes around in an attempt to find the source of the strange voice, but they were only met with complete and utter darkness. Every time he blinked, he was finding it harder and harder to re-open them. _

_Just let me sleep already…_

_His body jolted and all of a sudden he no longer felt tired. Agonising pain shot up from the open thigh and he couldn't hold in his scream. It tore through him and ripped out of his throat, ignoring the barrier that was his tongue. He clutched at the useless limb with his hand, grabbing at the flesh as it slowly started peeling away in an attempt to leave his body. No, death wasn't good enough. His body literally wanted to leave him, piece by piece._

'_Get a hold of yourself, Edward!'_

_Again the voice called out, but this time he couldn't focus on it. He desperately wanted to find whoever it was, to reach out and be pulled from this darkness. But he was alone, wasn't he? He had to deal with this his own way, by himself._

_Something grabbed him from behind and he furiously fought against it with his pain-induced adrenaline. He swung his arm around but it was only met with the ethereal darkness. After a quick but ferocious few minutes of batting the darkness with his only arm, he slowly started to calm. He could feel their warmth seeping into his body, spreading throughout his limbs. He didn't even notice as the pain ebbed away; he could only feel the sudden urge to lean into whoever's arms had wrapped themselves around him and sleep._

'_Edward…'_

_Now it was pity? Whoever it was had started to get on Ed's nerves. Wake up this, get a hold of that… And now they were worrying about him? He felt himself snort as he finally closed his eyes for the last time, ignoring the voice and allowing himself to fall into a deep coma of darkness._

xo0oOoOo0ox

Ed stared at Roy. Roy stared back, fingers interlinked and held in front of his lips, gaze unmoving. The teenager just didn't know how to take it in. He knew his own eyes must be dark from the restless few nights he'd been having lately, but this…

Roy cleared his throat, feeling the pressure of Ed's stare before lowering his hands, allowing the boy to fully take in the damage.

"Say it."

It was a challenge, Ed knew. Did he chicken out and pretend it wasn't there? Or did he ask how Mustang had gotten such a tender looking wound across half his face?

Naturally he asked.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Roy sighed. He should've known better than to tempt the blonde.

"It's just a bruise."

"Yeah, a bloody big one…"

"…"

"You must've been beaten up by a guy twice your size…"

"…"

"Or did Hawkeye finally try to beat some sense into you?"

Roy sat there, listening to Ed's wacky excuses and theories, not taking in many words as he watched the blonde make extravagant hand gestures to go with his explanations. Ed slowly began to notice the Colonel's silence and came to a stop, twisting his jaw in irritation. It wasn't half as entertaining when the person you're making fun of was staring at you with scrutiny.

"What?"

Roy's eyes snapped to Ed's face in confusion.

"Hm?"

"Don't 'hm' me, Colonel Bastard. You were staring."

Roy blinked and rubbed an eye, before wincing at the touch of the angry bruise that adorned half his face.

"You're dismissed."

It was Ed's turn to stare once more. Dismissed? The bastard was _dismissing_ him? Since when…

"Don't look at me like that Fullmetal. You are my subordinate, and you will do as you are told."

Ed clenched his jaw before growling and storming out of the room, making sure to slam the door hard enough to gain a few stares from the other subordinates in the room. One look from the Colonel though and they soon forgot the incident. All but one.

"Sir"

Roy raised a drooped head to the blonde female, eyes weary.

"Yes Hawkeye?"

"I would think it wise if you went after him."

Roy looked to her, trying to catch her bluff; she was after all offering for him to skip out on his work. He didn't trust it.

Not one bit…

He stood up suddenly, grabbing his black trench coat on the way out of the door. He didn't even slow down to give out orders, such was the hurry he was in to quickly get out before Riza changed her mind.

He would have to thank her someday…

xo0oOoOo0ox

Ed's loud banging alerted Al that his brother had returned. With a sigh he stood from where he had been reading a book to greet his older sibling.

"Welcome back, Brother…"

Ed grunted a reply, unable to feel angry when around Al. He sighed before dropping himself on the two seater couch, leaning his head back over the side. Al stood behind him, looking down into his brother's scrunched up face.

"What's wrong?"

Ed's face relaxed instinctively.

"Nothing."

"Please tell me."

There was a strain in Al's voice that caused Ed to open an eye before sighing and leaning forward, cupping his head in his hands.

"I'm just tired, Al. I promise."

There was a short pause before Al looked away.

"Okay. I'll make some herbal tea for you; they say it helps with sleeping…"

Ed smiled gratefully as Al made his way into their small kitchen, though Ed doubted it would make much of a difference. What could a drink that tasted like leaves do to help with _that_?

There was a crashing at the front of the small apartment, in the direction of the doorway. Even in his semi-unconscious state Ed was on his feet, instantly poised and ready for an attack.

A figure clad in black stared at him from the other side of the room, waiting for him to make a move. An invitation maybe? Ed smirked, and for some reason the figure flinched, piquing Ed's curiosity. Whatever.

He started a headlong charge, fist pulled back ready to strike. The figure didn't even attempt to dodge. Just as the metal of his automail was about to make contact with the dark enshrouded figure, it disappeared as if it was an apparition.

"Fullmetal?"

Roy's voice cut through him and he swivelled on the ball of his heel to the source of his voice. What greeted his glare wasn't the Colonel, but in fact the dark cloaked figure. Ed snorted.

"Your impressions are about as good as a rock's" he sniped. He launched at the figure, though just as before the stranger didn't attack. The difference this time round was that Ed did make contact, feeling the dull 'thud' as their two bodies connected. "Ha! Gotcha now bastard…"

He had pushed the figure over, pinning him to the ground as he sat on its chest, holding its arms down with his hands. "Who are you bastard?"

"Ed…Ward…" the figure wheezed and the teenager froze, eyes wide. He knew that sound, like the breath was escaping from its throat before it had a chance to reach its mouth. "Ed… Ward…" He also knew the sound of that voice; Even though it rasped and wheezed, he could recognise that voice anywhere. Roughly grabbing hold of the figure's hood, he yanked it off and screamed.

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**Whew~ End of the first part ^.^ Lemme know what you think?**

1-17-10


	2. So Numb

_**Oh dear... I really have neglected this for too long... And it shows I'm afraid ^.^" Really sorry about the short length, little going on and my lack of... 'enthusiasm' I suppose :( **_

_**Well, on to chapter 2...**_

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**Chapter 2**

**So numb**

Roy stared at the teenager incredulously. They were seated opposite each other at a simple round, wooden table, each with a hot drink left untouched in front of them. Ed's fingers wrapped around his mug as he stared at the questionable liquid within it, but Roy had his hands full as he nursed a small bag of once frozen peas to his already blackened eye, now bruised twice over.

"You attacked me."

Ed growled at the repeated accusation, glaring angrily at his superior as he explained his defence for what felt like the tenth time.

"You had your hood up; I couldn't see that it was you."

They were both losing their patience with each other because of Roy's scepticism and repeated questions. It was only by Al's honest judgement that they were able to get anywhere.

"But Brother, you screamed. That's how I knew someone else was here."

The blonde paused momentarily, murmuring that he didn't scream but shout, before his lips twitched up into a smirk.

"If you caught sight of _that_ wouldn't you scream?" he said, nodding in the direction of the black and blue soldier. It was obvious to everyone in the room that Ed was finding it pretty entertaining how the Colonel's face was now colour co-ordinated with the rest of his appearance.

Roy suddenly slammed his fists onto the table surface, splitting the bag of peas that had been in his hand and pushing back his chair as he quickly stood up. The brothers' full attention was focused on him now, and for a moment that seemed to drag on too long for the older Elric, Roy simply stared into his eyes. Ed was never one to feel intimidated, but the glare the Colonel was giving him sent a cold sensation up his spine. With a drawn out sigh, Ed broke his gaze and looked to the floor with a defeated pout.

"Is there something you came here for?"

The older man was caught momentarily off guard before he returned to his usual, sober expression. He gently tugged at the opening of his black coat and much to the brothers' surprise, turned and went to leave the room.

"Fullmetal, I want you in my office first thing tomorrow morning to make up for this mess you've caused."

Ed was about to protest. After all, he'd already been in at the crack of dawn three times this week already. He wasn't one for complaining about early mornings (Though if anyone asked Al they'd know this to be a lie), but he had better things to do with his time than waste it with idle chit-chat. He stopped, mouth parted slightly in mid-speech. That was all it had been lately; conversation. No business, no reprimanding (except for earlier where he suspected sleep deprivation had a role) he'd actually started to see the egotistical Bastard in a new light.

When neither of them had spoken by the time Roy had gotten to the door, Al made a small, polite even though he knew the gesture was lost on the man facing away from him.

"Thank you for visiting again, Colonel." Roy stalled for only a brief moment before stepping out into the corridor and closing the door behind him.

xo0oOoOo0ox

"Why didn't you just tell him?"

"Tell whom, what?" But he already knew.

"Tell Edward that you know he's having nightmares."

Roy glared at the dark liquid, watching it slosh quietly within his tumbler as he rolled the glass around gently. It was one thing to think it to himself, but it physically hurt to hear someone else say it.

To hell with what he thought earlier; it was _Hughes_ who was too damn good at reading him.

He took a quick gulp of his drink and let the fiery liquid run down his throat, sighing out heavily as it reached the pit of his stomach in a disappointing pool of sobriety. He was on his third bottle already, so where was his short lived but well deserved oblivion?

Maes looked to his friend slumped in his armchair with concern, shifting uncomfortably in the two-seater couch as he waited for a response. He sighed as he realised he wasn't going to get one.

"Drowning yourself in alcohol won't fix the problem, though losing sleep on top of that..."

Maes was stopped mid-sentence as his gaze brushed upon Roy's. He'd never seen the man glare at him so darkly, though he supposed it was only amplified by the growing dark rings under his eyes and the angry looking bruise shadowing half his face.

"I am _not _losing sleep over this. He's just too damn..." His face scrunched up as he failed to think up a suitable word. Maes looked to Roy expectantly.

"... Stubborn? You mean like you?"

Roy sighed as his friend finished his sentence. It hadn't quite been the word he was looking for, but it had fit none-the-less, no matter how much he hadn't wanted it to.

"Look..." Maes cautiously approached the slumped figure, as if he feared it was a wild deer ready to flee. "You'll end up hurting both of you if you continue on like this." He knelt at his side and managed to gently pry away the partially empty tumbler from Roy's fading grasp. "Come on. Let's get you to bed. Who knows, maybe you'll think of something while you sleep?"

If Roy had used his energy reserves to lift his head at that moment, he would've been graced with one of Maes' contagiously optimistic smiles. But he hadn't, and so he allowed himself to be pulled up by his friend, slouching even when stood as they made their way to his welcoming bed.

Not even using the effort to undress himself, he simply dropped onto his mattress and sank into the delightfully soft material of his covers, mumbling incoherently into the feathered pillow. Maes took it as a sign of gratitude and gave him one last look over before quietly taking his leave. He was sure the man was little more than tired, and if he knew him, he knew the Colonel would be back at work tomorrow, blaming his hangover on 'that insanely daughter obsessed friends of his'.

As soon as the click signalled the front door's closure, Roy lifted his head and slowly peered around. Once he'd confirmed that the coast was clear, he roughly pulled himself into a sitting position.

He hated acting like he was drunk.

It was completely against his character, but it was the only solution to quell his friend's concern; to feign ignorance.

He swung his legs over the side of the bad a little too quickly, forcing him to wait a few moments before rising to his feet. It seemed to his that maybe the alcohol _had _affected him, just a little. Once the room stayed as it was meant to, instead of darting around him every time he shifted his weight, he shuffled his way into the living room.

Everything was as it should have been _before_ he started drinking. There were no empty bottles, dirty glasses or any of the little spills he'd made in his attempt to explain something using extravagant arm movements. A soft smile flitted across his lips. Where would he be without that son of a gun to back him up?

In hell, most likely.

xo0oOoOo0ox

"Well, where the hell is he?" There was an obvious air of irritation in the blonde-haired teen's voice that the inhabitants of the room chose to ignore.

"Give him a little time, I'm sure he's on his way as we speak." Riza's naturally calming voice chirped in as she nonchalantly set about filing some papers.

"I haven't got any time..." Ed mumbled to himself, not brave enough to actually talk back to the older woman. He'd seen her handle a firearm before, and as he eyed up the metallic weapon holstered on her hip, he decided not to chance it.

"Hey, Boss? You could just leave them there; I'll make sure they get to the Colonel"

Ed looked to Havoc as he chewed on the end of an unlit cigarette, obviously waiting for his chance to use it for its intended purpose. A small grin grew on both their faces as Ed sighed. "Well, it can't be helped; I came in on time and he wasn't here..." He dropped the papers on a desk and quickly made his escape before there were any objections from the other subordinates.

A blinding light exploded in the back of his skull, throwing him even more off balance. The dark haired male cursed his bad luck as he tried pulling himself into a sitting position, and then cursed the weather for making this already arduous journey even more impossible. He had been effected by the alcohol even more than he thought possible, and it was nigh impossible for him to walk

in a straight line, never mind battle against the forces of nature.

Ed rubbed his hand over the flesh connection his prosthetic shoulder. If he didn't get back to the apartment soon, he was certain he'd be caught in a torrential storm heading this way. Well, rush as he might, he just couldn't resist stopping off at the local baker's to buy some of their famous cream buns.

The truth was, he hated eating in front of Alphonse; no matter what the younger brother told him. He just couldn't help the guilt rise as he chewed, savoured and swallowed his food; all acts lost to Al. For now, at least.

He exited the bakery with a small grin, thanking the owner on his way out. His smile didn't last long however as a low rumble rolled across the sky. He cursed quietly, blaming the talkative baker for wasting his time, but in the same breath forgave him because of the small but delectable buns he now gorged into.

xo0oOoOo0ox

Lightning flashed overhead. _This is bad… Come on Mustang, you can make it… _Roy wasn't sure if he hated the storm for conspiring against him, or if he was glad it had dispersed the city's population into sheltering; saving him the shame he felt as this city's soldier for being in his current state. Yet years of military service and personal training had hardened his body to prepare for such instances as this.

That's what he hated the most.

He wasn't even allowed to close his eyes, not till he at least got what he sought for. His body refused to obey him till he had fulfilled his heart's desire.

xo0oOoOo0ox

Ed almost choked on his last cream bun, gasping out loud as a black cat came out of nowhere. He instinctively shouted at the creature, yelling at it to keep on running or else he'd make it suffer a consequence – one he would most likely neglect to carry out.

Carrying on the remaining fifteen minute walk to his shared apartment, Ed tried to clean the cream that had somehow managed to escape his mouth and land in places someone could only dream of how it got there.

He was in mid-lick when his second run-in with bad luck began. His foot came into contact with something on the floor, which he quickly realised was coming all too close to his face for comfort.

His quick reflexes kicked in and he brought his hands out in time to stop himself gaining a flat nose, though his pride had still been bruised.

He instantly spun onto his behind, a furious scowl plastered on his face as he prepared to verbally abuse the source of his embarrassment, whether it be living or inanimate. He failed to notice the quiet grunt which was a slight give away.

He froze, mouth falling agape in mid-shout as he stared at the lump at his feet.

"Oh, Edward… It's you… I can finally… finally rest my eyes…"

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**_Once again, sorry to those who expected something from me... Next chapter will be coming along soon! (And hopefully I don't mess that one up as bad... ^.^"_**

05-31-10


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